There I was, searching in the pantry for some grub, when I discovered my sweet potatoes had been violated! No one violates my sweet potatoes and gets away with it!!
So I did some scoutin’. There were no rubs. There were no scrapes, (except for on MY sweet potatoes!)…. just some scat. After analyzing the signs, I concluded it was a mouse! I did what any hunter would do. I decided to hunt that sucker down! It wasn’t going to be easy because they don’t play by the rules.
I bathed in my Scent Killer soap and donned my Mossy Oak Break-Up camo (Toxey Haas would be proud) while the theme from Rocky was blaring on the stereo. I set up my camo blind in the hallway (my Double Bull Matrix blind). I was gonna have to bait and shine this one to get him, because he moves after legal shooting hours.
I waited till all the kids were in bed, then turned out the lights and got into my blind. (Did I mention it was a Double Bull blind?) I was looking for an excuse to use it again and this was it! I had set the bait out earlier and now it was time to listen to the sounds of little feet.
Then it happened!!
I heard a noise!!
I flipped on my 2 million candle power spotting scope, lighting up the pantry like the 4th of July. He gave me that “mouse in the headlights” look. It was now or never.
I drew back on my bow, then let my broadhead fly. (Muzzy…. they’re bad to the bone!)
It was a close range shot and I misjudged it by a full 16th of an inch, but it didn’t matter!
It grazed off the floor, sliced him in half and ricocheted throughout the pantry like a pinball machine at the arcade. By the time the arrow was done, it had not only sliced the mouse, but cut the cheese, diced the carrots, sliced the bread and made julienne fries outta the potatoes! Not only had I rid myself of a rodent, but I was all set for a stew!!
I field dressed him right there in the hall (what I could find left of him anyways) and I swear he must’ve scored 120 points Pope & Young in the Rodent Division!!
I’ve thrown away my Ginsu knives in favor of meal preparation with broadheads. I feel there’s money to be made in the Infomercial circuit.
Part of this story is true. Which part is up for debate and speculation. (~_^)